THE LIES THEY TOLD US

"The Lies They Told Us" ...

Almost everything my Mama taught me about men is absolutely, positively not true. Now I love my Mama and her advice on everything else is pretty sound but when it comes to men she was about as clueless as all the rest of us females. So we are going to debunk some of the most harmful myths, lies and dangerous ideas that we females constantly use that sabotage any possibility of us having a wonderful and amazing relationship where we are respected, satisfied, and treated like the Goddesses we are.

Myth Number 1:

Always be extra nice to your man no matter what he does, cater to his every need and always do the right thing even when he doesn’t, buy him nice expensive gifts and toys, it is your duty to give him sex whenever he wants it, you must change yourself for him if he asks you to and be the kind of girl he wants you to be, never, ever complain when he doesn’t treat you wonderfully, never demand what you need and automatically expect him to know what you want. If you do all of these things the better your man will treat you and the longer they will stay around.

Reality:

The more you love yourself and accept only treatment that honors and respects you,
the more honest and authentic you are about expressing your needs and requesting your wants, are nice to your man and cater to them if and only if they are treating you wonderfully, the better they treat you and the more they love, value and respect you and the longer they will stay around and most importantly the more satisfied and happy you will be.

Application:

I was always extra nice to my husband. I called when he didn’t call, I remembered his birthday and other holidays and bought him gifts when he barely remembered mine and would give me a call and was going out of his way if he sent me a card. I never complained and made excuses for him when he treated me shitty, never insisted on my needs being met and he treated me like the asshole he was. But he did stay around. I finally grew to the point where I loved and respected myself enough to accept that he couldn’t and wouldn’t honor and respect me.

After I began honestly and authentically expressing my needs and wants and he made no attempt to be nice, let alone please me in any way and I was not at all satisfied or happy in the relationship I left. I had allowed him to treat me so bad for so long and let him get away with murder and had been so faithful and uncomplaining and loyal that even when we separated he didn’t believe that I was really through with him and was going to divorce him. I finally got to the point where I realized that he was not worthy of my being nice or even cordial to him after all of the disrespect, lack of support and mistreatment and totally cut off all contact with him.

I told him to not contact me at all. If I needed to contact him I would. At first he stopped calling like I requested but then he started calling me cause he didn’t respect me enough to honor my request. I refused all his phone calls. I never replied to any of his email messages, if I needed to communicate with him it was through a family member. Didn’t acknowledge his birthday, Christmas, New Years or anything. After a month or two he finally started taking me seriously. He started sending me messages apologizing for his behavior, acknowledging how horrible he was to me and asking for my forgiveness. He eventually agreed to all of my terms and conditions for the divorce and even messages me online knowing that I will not respond just to say hello and ask how I am doing.

In other words a man that treated me like shit, had no respect for me whatsoever and didn’t do a single nice thing for me when we were married is now the nice, kind, cool man that I thought I fell in love with. Only now it is too late cauz I am no longer in love with him. However he treats me well and in any further interaction I will never have to worry about him disrespecting me again and not taking me serious. It took me having to end my marriage to learn my lessons about how to treat a man so that he treats you wonderfully but I have learned my lessons well and look forward to having a wonderful and amazing next relationship.

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