January 18, 2006- Oh my god I’m so glad 2005 is over. Last November while hanging out at a festival we decided to go see the psychic. I had never cone it before and was so curious what my reading would be. Well she told me that this year I will see everything clearer. Damn, I hope I do. Because last year was quite foggy, I barely remember anything it’s all a blur in my head. Its seems as if her predictions put a hex on me. I’ve never had a hex put on me but I’m assuming that’s what it probably feels like. I couldn’t make a decision to save my life and everything was so confusing. I just came back from spending a month with my baby and it was really nice. I thought I was going to get tired of him but surprisingly I didn’t. I go through these phases when I‘m madly in love and appreciate him, then I start feeling trapped in the relationship because I’m not sure If I want to settle down just yet. I'm scared I'm going to regret later. There is so much (so many) to experience out there but I’m trying to be the best girlfriend I can be. I’m so confused sometimes. I lay low for a while content and then something starts bubbling up in me and I have the urge to go out and act a fool. Hopefully this year I will find balance. Or a way to have a boyfriend and lots of other friends to keep me satisfied while he’s out of town!!!!! Now that sounds like my kind of plan.
January 19, 2006- O.K. I just got back from vacation and my money is going to run out pretty soon! I was complaining to my friend about me having to get a job and he gave me a rather interesting suggestion. What was so crazy about it the whole proposition is that he was serious trying to help me! A lot of my gay friends work as escorts off of these internet sites. I admit they make a lot of money really fast, and of course fast money is always tempting. His friend made $1400 working from 9am-3pm. I don’t see anything wrong with this if you screw a lot of people anyway; I guess you might as well get paid doing it. I just never considered it for myself. Well he suggested that I give it a try for a weekend, make about $4000 and use that until I find my job. The catch is that I have to try to act like I’m a transsexual. He said to take pictures and put on cakes of makeup to look like I was a man trying to look like a woman. To tell the customers that I was a transsexual girl and had been on hormones even before I got my sex change operation. WOW! I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. If word got out then people would think I used to be a man. That could be very detrimental to my career!!! Then my guy would kill me because everybody would think he was gay! Oh my god that would be hilarious. I look nothing like a man so I don’t know if the guys would believe me. And a fake pussy has to feel different from a real one. And most of all I DON”T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH GAY MEN. Ewwww! I love my friend to death but this is the craziest suggestion that he’s given me yet.
January 20, 2006- Lately I have been getting so much attention I’ve been doing these new EFT releasing old baggage techniques and I don’t know what kind of signals I’m sending out? Boy this is nice! Earlier I was on my way to one of my old college buddies house. I’ve been out of school 7 months, but it seems like years. Anyway I got lost and wound up making a 45 minute trip into a 2 ½ hour trip. With L.A. traffic it was a mess. I was about to run out of gas so I exited and went to a gas station. I don’t know what it was but all these guys were staring. I’m used to this if I’m half naked but for once I had on some clothes. So I go inside to pay for my gas and the guy who owned the place told me I was pretty and told me he wished he was my boyfriend. I smiled and said thank you figuring he does this to every girl that came in. Anyway, I walk out to my car and this guy at the other pump was like “Hey girl, can I talk to you?” He’s talking all loud, rude and macho so I paused and asked if he was talking to me. The owner of the gas station had followed me outside! He was grabbing the nozzle because he wanted to pump my gas in exchange for some conversation. He tells me to tell the guy he’s my husband. So that’s what I told him. Isn’t that being a cockblocker, I was happy for the interference on his part because that guy seemed annoying. The owner starts telling me how he’s been divorced for fifteen years waiting on me to show up, how he loves women like me, he offers me to come back in and get a drink to go with my trail mix ( why didn’t I think to ask him for some more gas), he was really hitting on me. I hated to break his heart but I told him I had a boyfriend. He says he’s been waiting 15 years and I was going to tell him I was taken. Then he proceeds to ask me to marry him. This was hilarious. He left an open invitation for whenever I was ready for him. I left to get back on the highway and guys are honking and smiling at me. I don’t know what was in the air? When I finally got to my friends house we were reminiscing about crazy stuff we did in college. He starts telling this story about how the best day in his life was when he saw me with no clothes on. I was sooooo confused because I couldn’t recall anything like this EVER happening. He was my homegirl’s ex-boyfriend and I don’t do my girls exes. Anyway he was talking about a time when we were playing some crazy game that involved taking off an item of clothing whenever you messed up. Somehow I ended up in the hot tub with my drawers on! Mind you we were all totally sober playing this game. He was talking about some guy I was interested in and I couldn’t remember who he was talking about. Crazy thing is that he had to keep telling me detail after detail to jog my brain into remembering this incident. It took me like 10 minutes to recall. If I don’t remember something like that, what the hell else have I done?????
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