Q. I have a serious problem. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I really am in love with him. The problem is he’s been in Iraq for 18 months of our relationship. I got so lonely and horny I started having sex with this guy. I feel guilty but don’t know what to do? Should I tell him?
A. Sorry to be the one to break it to you but your guy is probably not faithful to you either. Guys in war are going through so much trauma that the only way a lot of them stay sane is by trying to screw away their stress. When you hear about military guys being whores its not a made up tale. He’s away from home, lonely, and experiencing terrible senseless violence on a daily basis. War is not fun and games. The best thing to do is talk to him about the situation be honest about your feelings and your needs. I wouldn’t suggest that you tell him that you cheated. Just try to get him to open up. Its not fair to you for you to go this long without companionship and love. I know it sounds harsh but you’ve been together 6 months b4 he left you might not even like the man that back! Oops, did I say that! Seriously take this day by day and follow your heart. Don’t tell him you cheated because that will really hurt him. He probably assumes you’re doing something anyway. Good luck!
Q. I’m totally smitten by this guy. I told him that I loved him just three weeks after we met. Now he’s acting really strange. What should I do to recover from this and not lose him?
A. Uh Oh! Guys freak out when you use the word love. It’s like a guy taking you out on the first date then telling you that he wants you to be his wife and have his ten sons. This really happened to me I sware! Anyway, the best way to recover is to be cool. Act like it NEVER happened. We all get caught in the moment from time to time and say things that we regret later. If you were drinking or have anything else to blame your slip up on, use this to your advantage. Mention something about how buzzed you were and how you don’t recall anything you said that night. In other words bullshit your way out of it! Don’t mention or apologize for it specifically. After this, let him call you or pursue any further contact. You’ll find out if he’s really interested.
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